It's been raining so much lately and I'm so sick of it, because I love getting outside with him. My living room has turned into a play station. I have surrendered to the chronic mess that goes along with having a child. I ordered this baby corral thing with extensions to make it bigger, and put down 3 yoga mats inside it. He can really get some traction on my yoga mats and is starting to crawl! I can get in there and play with him. Favorite toys are stacking cups I bought at walgreens and these bath toys - he loves anything that is not a toy, i.e. remote control, my phone. His favorite book is Brown Bear Brown Bear what do you see. - first book he actually looks at while I'm reading instead of trying to eat it. No teeth yet, but I am sure they will be in any day now.
Even though Winn is still a little baby, we've been thinking about if and when we want to try to give him a brother or sister. I'm reading Far from the Tree by Andrew Soloman and it's kind of freaking me out about having another child. The chapter I am reading right now is all about mothers raising severely autistic children and how hard that is. Not a good book to read when contemplating having more children. Other chapters were on deafness, dwarfism, down syndrome, schizophrenia and prodigies. Maybe I should just count my blessings and stop at one. There are some days where I feel like I could handle 2 babies close in age, but other days when it totally wears me out to picture my life with an infant and a toddler. We need alot more money coming in to make it a comfortable option for us, i.e. bigger house and part-time nanny. I want to breastfeed until Winn is at least a year old (if he wants to go that long). If we are gungho about having another baby, I think we would go back out to Colorado in October for another FET and then they would be exactly 2 years apart if it worked. But will I be ready by the Fall? I'm lucky to have my frosties, so I don't feel a huge pressure to jump right back into fertility treatments again and who knows maybe it will happen naturally (yeah right). Technically, I have until age 54 to make this decision regarding my frozen embryos. I don't want to wait too long, because I'd like to go back to work and I am scared I will forget everything I know if I stay at home too long. So we'll see what happens. Right now I just don't have that strong yearning to have another baby, which is probably pretty normal at seven months postpartum . . . I just want to focus on Winn and enjoying all of his "firsts" which are my firsts too.
