To VBAC or not to VABC?

This is the question I have been grappling with lately.

I had my 28 week appt a couple of weeks ago and passed my glucose tolerance test.  My iron is a little low and thyroid level is good.  Baby girl is moving around like crazy, so my doctor says she must be pretty happy in there.

My doctor is very laidback and flexible and has given me the option of choosing a trial of labor over a repeat c-section.  She said she would let me go to 41 weeks if need be.  On Monday this sounded like a good plan.  However, the next day I talked to a friend of mine who delivered vaginally and she tore to a 4 (all the way thru) and the very idea of that frightens me to no end.  She said that sex was painful for a long time after birth and there is alot of scar tissue down there now.

So that really got me research the internet on tearing during delivery and the odds are not really in my favor (are they ever?).  Women over 35 (I am 37) tend to tear 50% of the time, since skin loses elasticity as you age.   I already have significant bladder issues (intersitial cystisis) so I don't need any more problems with my pelvic area.

A planned c-section after 39 weeks is actually safer than a vaginal birth for the baby for a mom who has had a previous c-section.  Though the risk of uterine rupture is small, it is still real and to be accounted for.  My husband is completely on board with having another c-section. VBAC . .  . not so much.  If he was more gung-ho on a trial of labor then maybe I would be more inclined to sway that way.

The only way I really see myself doing VBAC is if my water breaks before 39 weeks and my cervix dilates quickly.  I am not going through another 24 hr plus labor marathon that ends up in c-section like last time.

We go to the doctor again on Monday, so I will revisit this topic with her to see what she thinks.  She herself has had 2 belly births (as my sis-in-law calls them), so I think I know what she will recommend for me.