Winn's sleep struggles began when he refused to sleep in the arms reach co-sleeper I wasted $130 on. The main culprit in the beginning may have been the reflux and he just didn't like being flat on his back. I kept pulling out the co-sleeper to try again every month or so and he never took to it. He slept in his rock-n-play during the first part of the night with some fussing and then and then when he woke up in the wee hours of the morning I would move him to his swing still swaddled.
But around 4 months, he started refusing the rock-n-play and I found he would go to sleep very quickly in bed with me when he was swaddled and I soothed him to sleep. Sometimes I would still move him to his swing, but now he is too big to be in the swing swaddled and not fastened down. I have tried just swaddling his arms and leaving his feet free so I can strap him in, but the swaddle works upwards over his lower face, so I don't feel comfortable with that option.
For the last month, we have been bedsharing (my husband doesn't sleep with us). He sleeps swaddled in the middle of the bed and I am on my side facing him and can't stretch out so my neck, shoulders and arm is not entirely relaxed. Sometimes he wakes up and I nestle him in the crook of my arm and then my arm really suffers after about 30 min. I get up at about 2 am to do a dream feed. He usually sleeps through that and then at 5 am he wakes up and wants to be unswaddled and will sleep for about another hour in my arms. (this is on a good night) This routine has it's advantages - no crying and I can get sleep when he is not fidgeting around. I love being close to him and knowing that he is safe by my side. But I worry about when he is too big for the swaddle and him moving around the bed. I want to transition him to his crib while he can still wear a swaddle and he is not too mobile. And I would like to cosleep with my husband again too.
I've read the expert's advice about getting your baby to sleep independently and they say not to put your baby in the crib asleep because when they wake up it freaks them out. But if I put Winn in the crib awake, it freaks him out. He has only slept in his crib a couple of nights around 4 months old and then not the whole night. I think he now knows how nice it is to have Mama's warm body next to him in bed and he's not buying this lonely desert of a crib - we have no bumpers, pillows or blankets in the crib. I know he can sleep on a flat surface now, because he sleeps in my bed. And he can sleep for long periods of time. Why can't he do that in the crib? I played around with the Ferber method last night, but finally gave in and took him to bed with me. I was really exhausted - perhaps I will try again tonight.
Should I wait until he is 6 months old and let him cry it out? It really pains me to hear him get upset, but I think the longterm benefits would be worth it. This is all coming to a head because it seems that he is growing too big for all his sleep crutches. He's got to learn how to self-soothe . . . what's a mama to do?
