Saturday, May 21, 2011


Time acts so strange when you are dealing with infertility.  It's slow, but fast.  Time seems like it is crawling by, but then you look at your calendar and realize that from an infertility standpoint, your summer is almost over, as in I have 2 chances to get knocked up (Aug is out due to out of town wedding).
2 years ago after I had my miscarriage, I never would have dreamed that I would not have a baby in my arms by now.  It just did not seem conceivable that this much time would transpire.  But here we are.  I am actually in Boulder, CO this morning. So a very nice place to wake up.  Going to walk down the creek path to the Farmer's Market and then get a massage.  My super pregnant friend is coming to meet us later on today.  I will also see another good friend of mine who has 2 cute little girls.   And Here I am with time standing still for me.

It seems I have been in a perpetual bad mood this cycle.  I don't know if it's the letrozole messing with my hormones or what.  Usually I am not experiencing anxiety and depression this time of the month. I am not on the verge of tears, but I just feel blah and whiney.   I feel like I will not get back to my old self, until I get pregnant.  I feel like that seeing a positive pregnancy test will be the only thing that makes me truly happy.

Well, nobody has ever said the 2 week wait is easy, but I have only gotten through 1 week.  God, please have mercy on me and help me get through the next week with some semblance of  sanity and equanimity.

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