Inching along

It's 11 dpo and I hate this time of the month.  It's the time of the month when you are constantly checking yourself for pregnancy symptoms and then feeling none and then feeling down about it.
I feel like I know my body so well now that I can tell when my progesterone levels start tapering off after 7 dpo.  It's a slow, but steady decline.  I had a little breakdown on Monday night after a superlong travel day which was triggered by finding out an aquaintance is pregnant on Facebook.  Really, I am happy for her, because I know she had a hard time getting pregnant, but still. . . it just really set me off. I proceeded to block status updates of all FB friends who are pregnant or have babies.  Even though that sounds meanspirited, I need to preserve protected space in my life and not be bombarded by fetus and baby news whenever I check Facebook.

It seems everywhere I go, there's a pregnant woman within a 10 feet radius of me.  I swear to god, I attract them like flies to honey.   Maybe my body is trying to soak in some of their pheromones.  It's not been working.  Tonight I went to the community garden we have a plot in. I was the only one there until a young Asian couple came.  And the first thing I noticed is she is with child.  I made some small talk with them and he even pointed it out to me.  And I was like "yes I can see that."  Their first baby and they are so happy.  So these pregnant ladies are everywhere stalking me down.  Saying look at me Look at me.  At yoga classes, at the grocery store, at Home Depot.   One day I will be one, that fertile hot mama to be strolling down the cereal aisle without a care in the world . . . maybe not this month, but sometime in the not too distant future.